2003 Bye Bye Beaute

The flickering out, the flaming up, arising, arising; and soothsayers and truth tellers and liars play together, they throw the ball back and forth from one to another; and it's this moment to crave something sweet, something that melts on the tongue; something to forget the moment with - something to never leave this moment.

Want to erase the past only to relive it later on?
Want another salutation for every enemy not born yet, not yet created, or perhaps already burned out, flamed away, finished?

Want to be seen as dusk invades and the sun is diminished? As stars burst forth, as moon departs, as skies vanish and there is a cold silence?

Nights are loud lately. Nights are frozen in place, they are static, they are endless. Night talks without an echo. Night warmth in the absence of light or touch or sound.





Want to be cool? Want to be hot? Want to want to want to some nights?

Want to move?
Want to create or perhaps, disintegrate?

Want to dance to the sneakerpimps in a crowded room alone?
Alone. Alone. Lone. One. Nil.

Step up, turn, love is just a blood sport... dance, bend three different ways one after another, feel the dark weigh in on flesh, light cut in and take the lead, take your hands, force your eyes shut, force movement without sight, rely on feeling only, on guts, on instinct, on intuition, on fantasies and dreams.

On lies. Lies. I. Lie. I lie to you. Lie to me. Lie me down. Tie me up. Lie to tie you down. Die. Die for awhile only to wake up.

Make the bed a hundred thousand times, unmake it, break it, make it, tie your self to it, marry yourself to it; undo, redo, undo, redo; keep the circle moving.

Stay rounded up. Stay above the other heads. Be aware. Awake. Alive with your eyes shut, with your soul on, with your mind succinct with the back beats, the strobe lights, the dizzying heat, the aches of someone else's pain awhile.

Numb me with a drink, numb me with a lie, I want someone else to die this time. I want you to hurt so I can stop thinking about myself. Hit me, hit me, hit me hard, make me forget. Aren't we all here for a mingling of regret? Aren't we all here to forget?

Aren't we here for blood, for warmth, for something as fleeting as identity.

Baby, be my man, be my flash in the pan. My opposite, be my twin.

Come undone, help me destroy myself. Help me claw my way back up.
Help me hurt you, help me help you, hurt you, help you, hurt you.

I don't want to know you, I don't want to know myself, I don't want to know the world, I don't want to know your story.

I want liquid life, I want white knuckled survival, I want clarity to cut myself with, I want knowledge to scar me, I want another stoic moment to help me turn away faster, further, furiously.



Don't you know by now I like the cold? I am it. It owns me.
It's freedom turned icy.
It's my everything.